Trump is one of the most popular president’s in history to White Evangelical Christians, holding an approval rating of close to 70%. Which is more impressive when you consider Jesus himself only holds an approval rating of 64%, voters citing concerns like helping the poor (“When you give a feast, invite the poor.” Luke 14:13) and his attacks on corporate freedom (You cannot serve both God and Money.” Matthew 6:24)
Let’s dive in and see just how impressive Trump’s Christian resume is, and what better standard than the seven deadly sins.
Despite showing little to no interest in his wife, it is his THIRD wife, so it would seem we may have some compulsions here. Even the decade long rotation of wives isn’t enough — so he pays for sex with porn stars, the major leaguers of the lust world. Bonus creepy points for the things he’s said about his daughter, chiefly that she has the “best body”, that “perhaps I’d be dating her” if it wasn’t, you know, disgusting, and best of all “is it wrong to be more sexually attracted to your own daughter than your wife?” Nice.
Fair to say he’s got more lust than R. Kelly at senior prom. Trump fails the first challenge in the gauntlet.
Trump’s former campaign manager Cory Lewandowski said that Trump’s favorite McDonanld’s meal was 2 Big Macs, 2 Filet-O-Regrets, and a chocolate shake (in the rare instances the shake machine is working). At 6’3 and a slight 243 pounds, Trump slips into the barely-obese-but-still-technically-obese category. Trump’s diet makes it appear he hates himself more than the American people do, which is actually kind of impressive.
A massive, unsightly body combined with first hand accounts of outright immoral dietary choices and Mr. Trump triple bogies the second hole of gluttony.
On one hand, Trump has been active on the golf course more than even Mr. Golfer-In-Chief, Barack Obama. On the other, not only does he seem to be spoiling and rotting in his own personal stagnation, he seems to be actually setting back the United States 70 years. He even had a PR firm hired to re-brand his sloth as “executive time”.
Unless you have a moving dissent, sloth is a fail from me.
Potentially his only environmentally positive issue, Trump is green with envy.
Trump’s anger is the very person he is, his defining feature, one author suggesting Trump’s anger is essential to his political success. He is featured in one article after another speculating on the depth of his anger. Trump has even become the perfect embodiment of anger via meme:
While I suppose it’s possible that Trump is composed and calm behind closed doors, it seems about as likely as getting a virgin daiquiri from Bill Cosby. Trump fails anger with a fiery passion.
A wise author once pointed out “What Trump lacks in refinement, honesty and dignity he makes up for in pride.” Trump clumsily evades blame for any of his actions, while taking credit for that of others. He claims to have the best people, ideas, words, hands, and asserts his superiority to a pathological level when he suggests that “I alone can fix [America]”. One of my favorite videos to ever exist is watching Trump squeezing his massive ego past the president of Montenegro. His need to be the center of attention is literally boundless.
With Trump bringing is pride to work each and every day, I’m comfortable giving out a confident failing mark here.
I mean. It’s Donald J. Trump (The J presumably standing for “Jesus Christ I’m Rich”), the walking embodiment of American greed.
Just in case you are a confused evangelical that thinks these are just blessings to a good christian (despite his miserable record on even the 7 most serious sins), consider any one of the many scams of the Trump legacy like Trump University, racial housing discrimination, mafia ties and even an entire Netflix episode of Dirty Money based upon Trump’s dealings.
I don’t think it’s possible to fail the “greed” test any more than Trump does, and he fails the last challenge on today’s gauntlet.
Trump manages an impressive 0/7 in complying with the 7 deadly sins. We could give him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t what the cardinal sins are, since he blanked during the reciting of the Apostle’s Creed at President Bush’s funeral. It’s entirely possible he’s not read large portions of the Book.
Makes me ask — why, exactly, does he get the evangelical vote again?